“Thank God America For Saving Ukraine”
Sadly, This isn’t Satire
The United States has developed a new trade strategy. It’s called, “Give us half of everything you own, or we’ll let the thieves take it all”. The plan was first adopted in the 1930’s by the American Family, The Corleones. Descendants of the family testify to its value.
“Whenever an entity is under threat, we would come to their rescue. Of course there was a small fee for our transaction. I understand that we now have a new President to believes in “transactional relationships”, stated family member, Sonny.
It’s nice to see the concepts we devised back in the 1930’s being adopted so successfully by the federal government,” he continued, “true capitalism at work”.
I attempted to contact someone in the department of trade and commerce, and the treasury department for comment, without success. It seems all of the actual employees have been fired for some reason, due to their playing DOGE ball while on department time.
The White House stated this morning that professionals, from Russia, working with Mr. Musk, will be taking over at the Treasury Department along with the Department of Trade and Commerce.
When asked by the media why the deal was being brokered by Russians, Mr. Musk stated,
“Why? You simply can’t trust those other DEI hires and woke wonders working there.”
The new policies are categorized as the new “Colonial Plan”.
Representatives from Ukraine were asked, “Why are you giving away your resources, without guarantees to the United States?”
Mr. Zelenskyy repeated for the cameras, “I can’t sell our state.”
The American delegation quickly stepped in front of the camera, with a representative stating, “What the Ukrainians get from the deal is a free, — well, okay partly free sovereign, or, — well, partially sovereign state that is secured by America.”
Everybody should be so happy. So much winning. Strategic partners, is the new term being used by Mr. Soprano, the new trade delegate for America.
“We are pleased with the new relationship. After taxes, I imagine that Ukraine will see somewhere between 11 maybe 12% of the profits. Excellent deal all around.”
Mr. Zelenskyy was not available for comment, as he was indisposed, according to the American spokesman,
Thanks America for having saved Ukraine.
You really are the protectors of democracy and freedom. We are so, so, proud of you.
God Bless the United States of America.
Leave a Reply