Political Satire
Today, Donald J. Trump provided the world with a wholly accurate representation of the “Golden Dome”, which he demonstrated from the steps of the White House Main Entrance. The Golden Dome is designed to stop incoming ballistic objects from striking the Presidents even harder orange dome.
The Golden Dome is covered in 14 carat gold reactive armour that is reinforced with carbon fibre instead of kevlar due to the amazing weight of the satellite dish-like dome. The golden dome, if struck by a ballistic object will counter-explode outward to neutralize the incoming object, before it strikes and possibly chips the orange dome.
The ‘drive plate explosive sandwich’ developed in Norway, is a design meant to provide a counter explosive reaction to incoming objects in the case of riots, anti-trump rallies or MAGANs who now have become incensed over the lack of alternate facts related to the Epstein Inquiry and its failure to be released by the Trump Administration.
The Golden Domes will be worn by Donald J. Trump, J.D. Vance, Marco Rubio, Scott Bessent and Pam Bondi. Pete Hegseth, Christi Noem and Robert F. Kennedy have chosen to wear the camouflaged variant, believing they may well be likely targets.
The new Golden Dome is highly sophisticated in that it can differentiate between high velocity weapons of brain mass destruction and the more innocent common objects of low velocity offal, typically thrown by the majority of Americans at Trump when he appears.
A counter-offal retaliatory array is being designed for the end of term, when it is likely such a feature will be needed.
The project was fast tracked when it was determined that the administration’s ratings were substantively dipping into the sub-human range and Magan’s were throwing their “Make America Great” ball caps filled with Jeffrey Epstein memorabilia, directed at Trump and his entourage.
The Golden Domes, of both variants require two secret service ‘soft targets’ to carry the wearers Golden dome, thereby adding another layer of absorbent protection for the wearer.
Members of the press were speechless. At first it was thought that their silence was another protective element of the Golden Domes defensive array, until the assembly realize that they were just dumbfounded, not surprising in light of the President’s first six months in office.
The United States is marketing the Golden Domes to other autocrats, dictators and drag queens throughout the western world. As of yet, only Victoria Orban and the leader of Austria’s AfD party have expressed interest.
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