Satirical? Oh, right… (It’s Satirical…)
(His Highness, waxing poetic, at Davos in Iceland…”Hey, little Mario, look that up…it’s the one covered in…ice.”
This week, Trump had an epiphany…no, not a stroke…an epiph…whatever. I suppose I should call it a brain fart.
He decided that since he can make a fortune from selling gold plated membership cards to his club, that he can probably stop selling sneakers, steaks, University Degrees and fitness memberships at his spa on Epstein Island to his fitness buffs, like Pri…that guy, Andrew, among about another several hundred other fitness buffs who like travel, fitness, and thirteen year olds. I’m guessing female children, but you just never know do you?
Well, in any event, Donald has got a scam, I mean a plan; that will revolutionize peace as we know it. Apparently membership is only a billion dollars each. Cheap at twice the price, right?
But the perks are awesome.
Every third buyer gets to pick a country for the Lord of Luxury to invade in the next three years, and a piggy back ride around the Oval Office, on Stephen Miller.
Anyway, the name is certainly fitting.
‘We’re Bored With Peace’ Club.
According to his just a little bit south of a highness, “I have a knack for nice pieces… I mean peace. Ahhh….wars. I start em, and I stop em.”
At Davos, in Sweden, not Armenia….who knew right, he invited at least one of the best people.
Precedent Trump, hello…
“I heard that Macarons…The other’s are just los….How about those Invitations though, eh?
He turns to the interviewer.
“I mean the list… is…. like only the best, really. They’re the crème de crème of the little shop of horrors. I mean there’s Vlad, Sadaa…oh, shame, he’s like…dead….Hey Little Marco…is he dead? Well I guess his complexion does look a bit like Millers, so maybe he’s still alive…anyway…get that Hungarian freak…and that guy from Australia…what’s his name”
You mean Austria, Precedent ….
“Umm…what’s the diff…there’s Austria, Guatemala …. those southeast Asian shit holes … they’re all the same….”
“You know Hammity, I invited all kinds of great leaders, the best leaders, leaders like you’ve never seen leaders…
His eyes close… his jowls twitch like Santa’s belly…
He opens his eyes…
“Who are you? Do you work at Justice? If you do you’re fired…”
His eyes seem to roll to the back of his head….he lurches forward, spasmodically…
“You know, my mother was a great leader once…. ahhhh….is it lunch yet? I don’t want any of the Bohemian Rhapsody stuff…Whoa…look at the as- on that….
Ummm…Mr. Precedent, that’s your ummm…. daughter Sir…
“Yeah…I know…oh the memories….”
“You know, they’re making such a big deal over this South African thing…I mean ‘it’s a shithole, total shithole. That guy Mandingo…. he totally stole our oil. I mean it used to be owned by us. Did you know that? Yup, I won it in a card game with Vlad…”
Ummmm….Mr. Precedent, ummm…your mic….?
Someone in the audience mumbles ….
“No I’m not…I’m the greatest leader the world has ever known…nobody ever had a better leader than me….they love me they do, they really do….I was a baseball player…the best baseball player….I think I was in the NBA once too…maybe twice….
” I agree Your absolute Excellency, shall we go play some checkers with Lord Vance?…”
Vance lifts him into his arms, and gives him a deep kiss.
“I love you, Donnie.”
“Oh…for sure…the guy is such a loser….I beat him in one move with my Duke you know right, I was a fireman once you know… the best fireman, I saved thousands of people….nobody ever saw such bravery….”
“Good Evening World.”
“That was America’s…. um… whatever…pack it up let’s get out of here, everyone’s gone to get drunk…”
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