In February of this year, a couple from New Brunswick in Canada, married 41 years, both terminally ill, decided to end their lives with MAID, Medical Assistance in Dying.
Holding each other’s hands they left this world, in love, and together.
Hearing the story of their life together and how much love existed between them, I was genuinely moved. It seems obvious to me that this was, and is, the most dignified way for death to occur and where love remains.
I’m 72 years old, and other than twenty attempts to end my life by stupidity, accident or simply fate, I am still here.
My body parts are worn, and soon I’ll have some inhuman elements made of titanium and nylon, added to my body, — but all in all, I’m still okay.
I thought a lot about the couple in the above story.
I can understand why they chose to make the decision they did.
We’re all dying, some of us just don’t know when, but the reality of that fact is inescapable and in some strange way, less threatening as I age.
I’ve always enjoyed pursuits that bordered on ‘risky’, and I’ve found that the absolute joy of living in the moment, for those few brief seconds where you are completely on the edge of life, were the most rewarding, and the most life affirming.
Strange, but true.
I know that may sound strange to some, but I’ll bet there are a few of you out there who completely understand.
My fear, has never been of dying, except for once when I was 28, and I had two young kids 4 and 1, and was told while I awaited a result from the opening of an envelope sent from the Atlanta Disease Control Lab in Georgia, that I would live, or very likely, die.
It changed the way I viewed the world, and has ever since.
That’s not to say that I was or am fearless. That would just be asinine.
But I have tried to ‘live’ my life, and let it take me where it will.
A firefighter for 43 years, I took part in every form of risky rescue programming there was, mostly so that I could prove to myself that I was worthy of doing the job.
I would love to be able to still dive, as I was a dive rescue instructor, but suffered an embolism, shattered sinuses and broken ear drum while down 200 feet.
Why I didn’t die, I have no idea, but I have been luckier than the vast majority of those on this planet with respect to surviving trauma.
Yet, — all that pales when I consider the courage it took for two people who love each other to decide to end their lives together, while holding hands.
I don’t know If I have that courage, but I have admiration for the two of them.
Dying with dignity, and without pain, is to me, a human right.
I’m profoundly grateful that I live in a nation that respects the rights of a human to end his or her life with dignity.
It is the one thing that all of us should have control over.
I don’t know when my last day will come, but I have told my kids that when it does, I would like to take one last motorcycle trip into the Rockies, leaving my bike at a trailhead, and simply walk off into oblivion.
Each of us, in our own way, needs to come to terms with how we want to face death.
I don’t fear it, and I, as yet, don’t welcome it.
May you make your peace with whatever decision is right for you.
Be well, be safe, and, when your time does come.
Go with dignity, surrounded by the love that has lasted a lifetime.
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