A Satirical Look at Trump and Netanyahu’s Meeting on Gaza at the White House in Relation to the ‘One State Solution’
Today, Trump and Netanyahu met in the White House. The intent of the meeting was to pretend that both parties had some concern, some empathy or appreciation for the Palestinians being methodically bombed in Gaza.
I imagine that the real value of the meeting was to provide a show for Americans not bright enough to already have determined that the whole dog and pony show (“תַּעֲרוּכַת רְעָדִים” ta’aruchat r’adim) is designed as pretence to actually doing something about the catastrophe and deaths of 57,000 plus Palestinians.
I believe that the conversation, behind closed doors of course, went something like this:
“So, BiBi…how’s the golf game?”
BiBi laughs uproariously.
“You know I don‘t golf Donald. I’m too busy playing whack-a-Palestinian for that. Besides, I don’t have the patience, as you may have noticed.”
Trump laughs, nodding his head.
“So, what I want to know BiBi, is why it’s taking so long to remove the Palestinians? I’ve got bulldozers and builders waiting? Those condos won’t build themselves, you know.”
BiBi nods.
“Well, send me another 25,000 tons of laser guided bombs and I can almost guarantee we’ll have them running to Egypt or Lebanon in short order.”
“But what if they don’t move?” Asks Trump.
“Well I guess, we’ll have to find a whole new headquarters of Hamas, under wherever they are.”
Trump smiles.
“Just make sure they’re out of there by the time I tell Putin to start his fall offensive, okay? I just can’t have this interfere with my golf game any more. I mean, I’m spending almost half my time in Washington, and my chip shots aren’t as good as I’d like.”
Netanyahu laughs.
“I’ve seen your scorecard Donald, it won’t make any difference.”
Trump bristles a bit, then leans back, now serious.
“If they don’t leave, bomb the living shit out of them, and find some excuse. I’ve made promises to the GOP and those condos had better be ready for them, or else they’ll be whining to the press. I know Congress is going to support me selling Tariff deals, but only if they get those condos. Don’t screw this up as I can make a fortune on the side, but I won’t be able to if the GOP doesn’t get their cut. Besides, you know there’s 5% in it for you.”
Netanyahu holds up his hands.
“Okay Donald, but you have to promise that after this is over, I won’t be extradited or forced to flee to some shit hole like Mexico?”
“Not a problem BiBi, but I need a truce. Once they’re gone, let’s see about a new Trump Hotel and Thirty-Six Hole Golf Course. I want it to look like Pebble Beach. Maybe we can call it Mar a Gazaland?
Netanyahu laughs.
“Sure Donald, but no muslims allowed, ever, right? I want 10% of the land for settlers though, and, the war can’t be over, or my ass is grass. If you want a hand to kick Iran’s ass, you have to ensure that you won’t actually bring the war to a close. I don’t care how you do it. Fake an attack on American troops in Iraq, whatever.”
Trump nods.
“But. In turn, you have to ensure they can never return BiBi, or no deal.”
Netanyahu smiles.
I doubt dead men can make that trip, Donald.
They both laugh at length.
Tomorrow, the two leaders will tell the press that they have agreed to meet again on the subject of a truce in Gaza, with the return of all hostages in exchange for combatants based on a formula.
They will state that they have reached agreement for an end to the war, and that in order to rebuild Gaza, all Palestinians will have to be relocated to temporary camps in Jordan and Egypt before they can return.
Of course, they will.
Leave a Reply